What’s in a name?

Remember the girls’ weekend I went on a couple weekends ago?  Yeah, that one when we decided to hit up a winery and torture the pregnant girl?  Yep.

One of the conversations in the car went like this:

-Kenzie: “How’s Baby Girl’s name coming along?”
-Me: “I don’t know!  I feel so much pressure with her name.  Caring for a newborn?  I got this.  Her name is so important.  What if I change my mind?  What if she becomes one of seven Emma’s in her class?  I won’t ever be able to choose one.  Too much pressure!”
-Mom: “Oh my gosh, you’re crazy.”

{Ok, that might not be exact but you get the gist.}

I’ve literally been around kids and babies for as long as I can remember.  I grew up with 3 younger siblings; I babysat for other families some in high school and I nannied for the most fabulous 3 kids when I was in college.  I’ve been lucky enough to have friends have babies before me so they let me hang with their littles from time to time!  I know for a fact that being a mom will bring new challenges and experiences but I’m not really nervous about caring for a tiny human.

{I really hope I’m not jinxing myself, here.}

I am nervous about naming her.  Having two educators for parents, she’s already up against some challenges because way too many names get knocked off the potential list immediately.  {When you teach 200 students every year, there’s bound to be a few names you don’t want to repeat.}  But I also second-guess myself because I tend to be fickle when it comes to things I like and dislike.  For example, we’ve lived in our house for just over five years.  If I was starting with a blank canvas today, it would look completely different than it does now.  Different furniture, different accents, different pillows.  If I was planning our wedding right now, it would have some different details than our day did 5 years ago.

So what if we pick a name and in a few days/months/years/decades I don’t like it anymore?  We’re stuck.  For her entire life.  You see how this is scary for someone like me?  Or what if we pick a name and then it becomes hugely popular?  She could get made fun of for her name if it’s too weird.  What if she can’t spell it when she goes to kindergarten?  A name is such a defining piece of who a person is.

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At this point, we’ve been tossing names around more seriously for about 8 or 9 weeks.  I haven’t been sleeping through the night – which is quite an adjustment for me because pre-pregnancy, I was a deep sleeper and I was pretty much knocked out as soon as my head hit the pillow.  About 3am the other night I asked David what he thought of the name that has been my favorite one for a while now.  His response?  “I think I like it.”   God must know how scary this whole naming thing can be so that’s why he gave us 40 weeks to think about it.

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By Claire | Filed under Baby
  • Living on Cloud Nine

    I think you’ll know when you see her beautiful face! The name I had picked out the whole time for my oldest did not suit him when I saw him for the first time but back up name 2 did. Go with your gut and with what suits her. Keep praying and it will be exactly as she was meant to be named! 😉 Have a beautiful day!!

    • After reading all these positive comments, I’m feeling better and better about it! Thanks for your sweet words :)

  • It took us a while to name our children. My daughter’s name is not very popular for girls and the rage has disappeared from boys at the current time. My son’s name isn’t too popular but the year I named him I let his name slip before he was born and two girls swooped in and took it for their kids. I know we don’t copyright names but girl…… When you see her you’ll know her name. I promise.

  • Choosing a name seems like a lot of pressure to me! As one of 84935734068 ‘Ashley’ growing up, I definitely want something more unique for our future kids!

  • Pamela

    I completely get what you mean because I used to love one name then I hated it and loved another so I have a hard time thinking of a name I’d love forever but I think once you pick a name for your baby girl you’ll end up loving it forever because it will be hers.

    • Yes, that makes so much sense. And now that I’ve had several people tell me that, I’m kind of like… why didn’t I think of that before?

  • Girl, I totally wasn’t worried about caring for a newborn either (when I was pregnant with Mia) Watch out, it’s a total SHOCK, ha ha! Maybe not the caring for a newborn part, but the emotional rollercoaster you are on after giving birth, not too mention the fact that you are trying to heal WHILE figuring out this brand new, tiny, dependent person who just rocked your world in the best way :) The first month went down TOTALLY different than I’d imagined, ha!
    And there really is SO much pressure in choosing a name! I felt the same way with Mia! We don’t feel the pressure as much with baby boy though, I’m not sure why? Anyway, I had wanted Mia for years but it was intimidating to decide while I was pregnant because of all the “what ifs” So we picked a few back up names and waited to see her face. We instantly knew she was our Mia when I held her and that’s what sealed the deal!

    • Me? Emotional? Hormonal? Never 😉 Haha… As far as the name, I’m starting to feel better about it. Thanks for all your insight!

  • Naming them is hard work! The best advice I can give is just name her what YOU like. Don’t worry about any one else’s opinion. You will love the name you pick and it will instantly fit them. :) it’s pretty awesome!

    • Such great advice. I’m so glad I posted all my random thoughts about naming her so I could get all this amazing feedback from mamas who’ve already been through it!

  • Deidre Westmoreland

    I know some people believe you should wait and see the baby, and we tried that with Kendall. She looked like ET so that was no help. She went through three names before I was moved to my regular room, but we finally decided on Kendall. The bad thing was, Jay had been calling her Hopscotch the entire pregnancy and she honestly looked more like a Hopscotch! It took her a little while to grow into her actual name but now she is a Kendall through and through.

    I’ll be completely honest with you. Jay’s name was picked out early on and I think that made a difference in feeling closer to him when he was born. He already had a little identity. When he would do something while I was carrying him I could just say, “Well, that’s just Jay already developing his little personality!” Truth be told, I would have never dreamed in a million years I would have named my child something plain-Jane like Jay. In fact, I would’ve laughed at you because I always wanted something unique and unheard of for my future children. So why did I do it then? Well it’s my dad’s and brother’s middle name, and as plain as it is, when I hear it I hear them. I’ve come to realize there is something solid and beautiful in the old, traditional names (you for example!) and these names have become unique over the years in their own right.

    I’ve been wordy but if nothing else, believe this. You will NEVER want to change your child’s name whether it has always been one of your favorites or it’s just new on the scene. Your precious child will define that name and create her own meaning for it and it will be the most beautiful name you’ve ever heard in your life…even if it is Hopscotch. If you happen to come up with a name after you’ve already decided on one for this little one, save it for the next baby or get a new dog!

    • Ha, I remember when Kendall was “Hopscotch.” Thanks for all your insight – my favorite part was that I’ll never want to change it because it’ll take on her identity. That’s so reassuring!

  • Julie Loveless

    I have personally never been pregnant yet but I have friends on both sides of the spectrum who have shared baby’s name right off the bat so people can get use to calling them by it and I have the friends who have waited until they see them and see if it fits the way they look. Many of them just don’t want to be judged early on by the name they picked and its like, that doesn’t matter because its what you wanted, not what someone else wanted. I’m a teacher too so I have that factor on what I won’t name my child but once you think it about it, and start saying it aloud, it’ll be one that you love!

    Stopping by from Kristin’s link up :)

  • I think I’d be exactly the same (except I wouldn’t be at all sure about having the caring for a tiny human thing down) because when something matters, I just absolutely cannot make a decision. My husband and I have vaguely talked about baby names in the past – despite not having children any time soon – and we can never find a name that one of us doesn’t hate, remind of someone annoying, or think is boring. It’s so tough! You have my sympathies!

    • We talked about names before we had kids too! We started off… not even reading the same book! Now we’re pretty much on the same page and know the kinds of names the other one will like or dislike. It’s kind of fun to see that happen.

  • Micah @ Unabashedly Me

    I agree that naming a human is a huge responsibility. I certainly didn’t make it easy on my parents either — I complained and cried for years about having a boys name and a name that wasn’t on barrettes or necklaces or anything. But … as an adult, I actually really like my name, so I don’t give them such a hard time anymore. I’m sure whatever you decide on will suit her just fine.

  • Oh I felt the same pressure with the name! The one name I’d always seen myself using and that I really really liked due to the meaning and how well it worked with hubby’s name…my sister in law had picked for her DOG a few years ago. So that name was off the table…I’m still a little annoyed at that haha, but she didn’t know! :)

    In the end, we limited it to names that had meaning to us, or meanings that we liked, and we tried to pick one that had the ability to create multiple nicknames. That way, if he doesn’t like his name, he can ask people address him by another nickname. Of course, now that we have that name, everyone always ask which variation of nickname we call him – and we picked a nickname completely different that just came to mind one day, and call him that all the time, haha!

    I think being able to shorten a name (and picking a middle name) should hopefully mean he’s happy with his name all the time, but who knows. He’s only a toddler so I won’t be able to confirm until he’s much older, haha!

    Away From The Blue Blog

    • Oh no! She picked the name for her dog :( That’s hilarious and devastating at the same time. I’m all about nicknames, too so that plays into the name game.

  • Oh gosh! I can completely agree with changing your mind on things. I can imagine naming a baby is so much pressure. You want a name that is beautiful, but strong and has a positive connotation. Just so many things to think about.

    • Amen. SO MUCH to think about. And so many times we’ll find a name that meets a few of those criteria but not all of them.

  • mdb0112

    I know! I mean, I had the same debate naming our pups! And that was the first thing I said to DG. I think you’ll know the perfect name when you meet her. My parents had a name picked for me and immediately changed it the minute they met me. Can’t wait to hear what you decide! xo, Champagne&Suburbs

    • No way. They changed it right when you were born? This stuff is stressful! Before we picked up Copper {and saw him for the first time}, we had talked about the name Copper and we both liked it but I told David that i needed to see him first. When we saw him it fit him perfectly.

  • Sounds like you guys may have a winner! Can’t wait to hear what you choose! And don’t be surprised if you change your minds at the last minute after seeing her beautiful face 😉

  • Ting

    Lovely post! xo

  • I’m really weird with names and nicknames. Chris and I have been discussing names since before we were married, and we’d say stuff like “I really like Anthony….but I don’t like the nickname Tony.” For us, it’ll be tough because we will want something to at least kind of translate into Russian. I can’t wait to hear what name y’all choose! :)

  • Oh gosh, picking a baby name was so hard!! It took my husband and I FOREVER! I bought baby name books and everything. Then one day we were relaxing on the couch watching a silly movie and a girl’s name was page and we both said, hey, that’s a pretty name so we went with it. haha!

  • I think you should just start talking to her, calling her to the dinner table, and acting like she is outside the womb to get a feel for your possible names. Pretend she left her dolls strewn across the floor, or she created a masterpiece for your refrigerator and you want to praise her by name. This way, if it sounds right throughout the house and Coppy Woppy doesn’t bark, you know you’re good! :) Of course you could always go with P as in Phoebe. H as in hoebe. O as in oebe. E as in ebe. B as in be. E as in e. Phoebe. She’ll have a great group of friends and drink coffee. :)