I’m writing this as much for myself as anyone else. Probably more so.
One thing life has taught me is that if one person is struggling with it, someone else probably is, too. So, with that in mind, I’ll publish this one. 🙃
Recently, I’ve been struggling to stay motivated. I feel like I’ve lost my drive on several fronts. It’s a phase. I haven’t been getting my workouts in. Or, when I have worked out, it’s been half-heartedly. Or short. Or while Ari’s awake. I feel like every part of this house needs to be de-cluttered and organized. I feel like I cook the same exact things for dinner week after week. I’m just kind of in a blah state, you know?
I’ve realized that I need to get back in the routine of waking up early to workout before Ari wakes up. And if that’s going to happen, I have to do it right as David walks out the door. Recently, I’ve been telling myself that sleep is more important. That I’ll do it later.
I think one of the biggest struggles as a SAHM is that if I’m in an unmotivated head space, I can always talk myself out of something. (Other than the basics, of course. The diapers have to be changed. The child has to eat. But the counters don’t have to be wiped off right now. The dinner prep could wait. The laundry could be done tomorrow.)
Ya feel me right now? 🙋🏻
Yesterday, Ari didn’t have a great day. She had several meltdowns over things that don’t normally bother her that much. I could feel my frustration levels going up as her pill levels climbed higher. When we got in the car, I literally had to use all my strength to shove her booty in the carseat and clip the chest harness. It was at least a 5 minute ordeal. I was sweating.
But right now as I sit here and assess me yesterday, I’m reminded that I didn’t get up before her yesterday. (Technically, I got up with David but then I went back to sleep. We’ll blame that on the Tennessee football game from Monday night. #RockyTop) So her cries were what woke me up. I rolled over to see the clock read 7:28 and I was annoyed. Why is she awake right now?
That’s more of a reflection on me and how I wake up than it is on her. My rules is that she has to stay in her crib until 7am. Anytime after that is fair game. So, technically, she gave me an extra 28 minutes yesterday. I was the one who woke up with the ugggh attitude. So when my attitude starts like that and then she has a meltdown, I’m less likely to handle it calmly, smoothly, and gently.
So perhaps it wasn’t Ariana who had a rough day yesterday; perhaps it was my mentality because I hadn’t started my day. I was being awakened to a toddler who needed something right then.
Contrast that to this morning: I got up with David, we did our devotions, I made sure he had lunch as he walked out the door. And as the door closed, I pressed play. It was a tough workout but once the 30 minutes ended, I had a fresh attitude. That motivated attitude is consistent after I exercise. I’m so ready to hit the ground running. That’s what working out does for me. There’s such a connection between my body and my mind.
After my sweat sesh, I swept the floors, organized my jewelry box, made the bed, and got my first round of work checked off the list. All before sitting down to write this.
And now I’m ready for her to wake up. As she calls for the door to OPEN, my heart beats a little faster. I’m excited to see her and start our day. And it’s only partially because I’m starving and I wait for her to eat breakfast before making our protein shake 😉
I’m able to enjoy her when I feel a sense of accomplishment. I’ve never been a great waker-upper. Perhaps if you’re not a morning person either, starting your day on your own could really change your attitude. Maybe it could allow you to handle your children’s meltdowns with grace instead of frustration.
It feels kind of counter-intuitive. I’m not a morning person so I should sleep until the very last second and my child needs me seems like the obvious choice. Maybe it’s not working; maybe getting up first will allow you to have those moments to yourself. It doesn’t mean it’s easy. I’m never one to excitedly pop out of bed. But maybe it means a smoother day.
⏰ The case for 5:30.
I wrote this on Wednesday, September 6th. (Just in case you were confused about the reference to the Big Orange win.) Sometimes I write and then have every intention of coming back that night to edit/proofread. My good intentions don’t always turn into action until a week later. Oops.