I’m glad I shared our miscarriage

In case you missed it: In December of 2016, we lost a baby just a few weeks after finding out we were expecting. Our experience is detailed in an essay on Her View from Home titled Will God Give Us A Second Child? 

I think the topic of miscarriage is becoming something that people are more willing to talk about. As I was walking at the park this week with a friend, she said she had read my piece of Her View from Home and that she knew of many friends who had battled a miscarriage. I agreed. It’s unfortunate that we all probably know several couples who have suffered this pain.

But I’ve learned that it’s also a way that we can carry each other’s burdens.

When I miscarried, just one day before hitting 7 weeks, we had already told both sides of the family. My sister was on her way to stay with us before heading home for Christmas break. (And that was one of the biggest blessings of that whole experience.)  We had no choice but to share our tearful news, at least with a few people. But we ultimately chose to tell several others, some who didn’t even know we were expecting another baby until we told them we had lost that baby.

Sharing only the sad news with them broke my heart. But they were the people that we wanted to tell so that they could walk through the hard times with us.

We went through a variety of emotions and many tears were involved. I cried many sad tears and experienced angry tears as well. It was a severe experience.

But after several days of experiencing extreme emotions, we also felt such a peace. We felt that there was a reason for losing that baby. We probably won’t ever know the reason  but we’re at peace with it. We felt (and still feel) hopeful for the future and what God has planned for our family.

That rollercoaster of emotions is the primary reason I started writing. Things were dark for several days. And then I could slowly feel God taking over my emotions and there wasn’t the same extreme sadness. As I was maneuvering through the lows to the highs, it felt weird. Sometimes it felt like I shouldn’t be as okay as I was. So I started writing because things tend to make more sense when I do that. I wrote it for that reason and that reason only. As I was writing, things became clearer. And then God said to share it with others so that it could be an encouragement to them. And I promptly told him no thanks.

But God persisted. So I reached out to Her View from Home, a site I had followed for a long time. I knew that they’d be the perfect place for my work to be published. So that was kind of my out. I was sharing it, like God told me to, but it would only be shared with strangers. (Unless someone I knew happened to follow along with HVFH and happened to read my story and happened to see that I wrote it. Long shot.) Once again, God persisted. When Leslie, the editor of HVFH emailed me back, her email read:

Hi Claire,
Thank you for your article!
Here’s what we’ll do:  We will run this article on Saturday, February 11.  It will be live at 6:00 am central standard time.
What we will do is monitor how this post performs for 30 days.  Due to the high volume of submissions now, I can’t guarantee an open spot for a regular contributor, but I do want to open that possibility to you and at least get you on our team!  Once we see how our readers respond to your piece (after the 30 days), then we can discuss your schedule. 

I had never considered this possibility of regular contributor status. It never even crossed my mind. But I immediately knew that God was using her to push me once again. This wasn’t just something to write and then peace out. Instead, I knew He was telling me, once again, to share it.

Since I shared what I wrote, I’ve had the chance to hear stories from so many people. People who have shared their experience and encouraged me. People who understand what it’s like to be in a period of waiting. People who know the pain of losing a baby. People who have experienced other tragedies in life and have come out of it with a fresh outlook and a seasoned faith in God’s timing.

I’ve been encouraged by those who have walked through life’s difficult moments and had the courage to share them. Because making the choice to trust God’s plan is what this life is all about.

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| Filed under A new journey
  • Oh I had no idea. Thanks for sharing your story <3

    • Thanks for reading. It hasn’t been an easy journey but it’s reaffirmed that we’re right where we’re supposed to be right now.

  • mdb0112

    I cried when I read that article, but your optimism and honesty were so raw and made me love you even more. So sorry, and thinking of you! xx, I’m Fixin’ To